Maddwriter's Musings

Duh-Duh-Duuuuuuhhhhh!!!!

2006-05-12T01:39:00.000-03:00

It's coming back!!!!

What is? "It".

Come check out Sunday...and every Sunday thereafter.

Novel Concept

2005-11-13T16:37:00.000-04:00

OK, so for those of you following the posts about my novel, here's the post for you!

A few weeks ago, I set a deadline for myself to have the first third of my novel completed by November 5th (my vacation/honeymoon). Well, I did it...in a sense. When I started rewriting the novel, I aimed for about 100 pages for the first of three parts in a 300 page novel. Now I hit the 100. Problem is this:

- the first 100 was supposed to be part one. Well, at page 100 I'm only about a third of the way through part one. Not a bad thing really since it turns this into a trilogy of three novels. But we'll see.

So my next goal is to finish part one by Dec 31st. That is...all 300 pages to a level that I think are publishable.

Then part 2 shall begin.

I used to be daunted by such a large task. No longer. This is a new age of Musing! I no longer fear! (...eep!) Ahem...

I'll post another time about my honeymoon with pics...no not THOSE kind of pics...(shakes head). You'll see.

Until next time! Muse on!

Bumped up Security

2005-10-30T22:41:00.000-04:00

I finally decided to add a nice new bouncer to my chalkboard to cut down on Spambots. He's friendly to nice people. But doesn't like it when someone steal his bamboo.

Feel the Strength

2005-10-30T22:05:00.000-04:00

So, I've got a bit of a dilemma. I finally got the press release to send out to the media in the area for Stories of Strength. The idea is to send it out to get the media buzzing and get the word out there. My problem isn't who to send it out to. That's all done. But when to send it. The book drops November 1st at the publisher's website Lulu.com for $15.95US. I could A) send it out tomorrow to catch that wave next week. OR, B) Send it out in a couple weeks when bookstores can actually order it themselves because it would appear on their systems.

I'd normally choose A) then remind people to visit their local bookstore to carry it. The con for this choice is that I'm leaving on my Honeymoon in less than a week. So if any of the media wants to get in touch with me, I would be completely unreachable to give them any further details until I'm back on the 14th.
So I'm leaning towards B) and wait until I return. Maybe it wouldn't coincide with the rest of the country's release but it would still be out there and sales are sales. Plus bookstores would order it when people ask for it instead of having to wait after hearing about the release. And, at least, I'd be reachable. Tough choices.
I suppose there's always C) be a wimp and do nothing. But I won't do that.
I'll keep you posted.

Wacky Waving Inflatable-arm Flailing Tubeman

2005-10-18T23:22:00.000-03:00

Wacky Waving Inflatable-Arm Flailing Tubeman.

Don't say I didn't warn ya!

Only 72 Days Before Christmas

2005-10-14T23:11:00.000-03:00

And you know what would be the PERFECT gift! How about a nice shiny new anthology? I think that would be cool too. Glad you agree. The website for the book called Stories of Strength is finally up and running. Check 'er out. It's pretty professional. Better than this pseudo-psite. Not to say I don't like my site here. It's just...well, go check it out.

Special shout out to my friend, Chris...y'know who y'ar (cuz I said your name)...who just landed possibly the sweetest job know to man besides a video game tester. On Monday, he starts his new position as a guy who updates scores on a website. So what he basically does is watch sports all day and when someone scores, he pressed a button to update the score. And here I am watching sports for free!!! I'm such a fool.

Deadline!

2005-10-12T00:14:00.000-03:00

Alright, so I've been given until November 5 to finish the first third of my novel. That's a lot of time...maybe. Considering I've been working on the blasted thing for about 2 years in it's current form. I swear the Great Wall was built quicker. Rome? HA! If I was left in charge, I'd still be figuring out how if the Colesseum should be oval, or square. Meanwhile, in every part of the world, instead of saying "Rome wasn't built in a day" it would be "Rome? Are they still workin' on that thing? Where's my pizza?"

I've got the plot worked out and I know how it's set to go. So technically I've written the whole thing except one thing...I haven't. Laziness and procrastination are my only real excuses. I could go on all day but I don't wanna!!!! So, I've been given a deadline.

As of this moment, I've written and rewritten 40 pages since the beginning of the month. I figure there's another 70 to go. And...what date is it, Bearded-Monkey? The 12th? No problem. I think.

Anyway, you may notice the new addition on the sidebar. It's a link to a site about the book I'm going to be in. The graphics are courtesy of the friendly people at Absolutewrite Forums. And yes, I figured out how to add a link to pictures now. So my power spreads like a Roman aqueduct. Too soon to say Empire...but it's coming. Afterall, it wasn't built in a day.

How do you ride your wild horses?

2005-10-12T00:05:00.000-03:00

The End of the World as we know it

2005-09-21T01:45:00.000-03:00

Read All 10. I especially like number 4 and 5. I can only imagine our entire species devoted actively to it's own self destruction. No quips from you environmentalists whining about global warming and super-hurricanes. This is how your REALLY get the job done.

My only disappointment in the list is how Pauly Shore is nowhere to be found.

Oh, yeah, and in other news on the exact same website. Could THIS be how the world ends? Can anyone say Cyberdyne Systems?

You decide. I shall muse on in my war bunker...

Yaaaaaarrrrrr!!!!

2005-09-19T12:03:00.000-03:00

What be your .pirate name, matey?????? I be Iron Sam Flint: Lubber of treasures and tough as stone.

Ye better git a name fer it be Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Get thee started 'fore I swab thy poopdeck with your poopdeck!

Maddwriter published again!!!!!

2005-09-18T19:38:00.000-03:00

Not to sound too full of myself but...where the heck else can I do this?

So I got another story accepted into an anthology where all proceeds will go towards the victims of Hurricane Katrina. The book is tentatively titled "Stories of Strength". The story that was accepted was called "The Old Man of Fundy".

I was hoping I'd have more time to brag about it in this post but I noticed the time and I've got to head out. The important up to date info on the project can be found at Stories of Strength.

Anyway. I'll keep updating this project as I find out more. Until next time, Muse on!!!!

Thar be a Storm on Yonder Horizon

2005-09-18T19:15:00.000-03:00

So Hurricane Ophelia turned out to be (thankfully!) a dud. It was supposed to hit Saturday night (Sept 17) but as it got closer and closer it got weaker and weaker. So by the time it actually passed over the 'Fax, it wasn't anything more than a little spittle on the windsheild. And after Juan (the Hurricane not Valdez) a couple years ago, we prepared better by buying a new set of windshield wipers. At least they work. Unlike my old ones who seemed to HATE to touch my windshield. Also got matches and batteries but what good are they if you can't see anything while driving!!!! Tell me that!!!! It would probably look like some like this:

SASQUATCH!!!!!!!!!

But really it's my buddy Mat the week he was down for the Maddwriter's wedding. Or is it???? If I hadn't got new windshield wipers there'd be no way we'd know.

So, in other more recent news, the Maddwriter has written something that...what a sec this is so big it deserves it's own post...stay tuned...

Lord of the Ring

2005-08-29T00:02:00.000-03:00

This will be just a short message to those of you following along at home and keeping score. The Maddwriter now has a Mrs. As of Aug 27, 05 roughly 11:30ish AM, I took my first step down that wooded path full of pitfalls and acheivements called marriage to a great girl named Kathy. There's a full outline and possible future online pictures coming (as soon as I get them). But to give you all some highlights...a sample tray, if you will...here are some teasers:

-"Live Long and Prosper": How did this phrase come into play in the ceremony itself?
-Did the Maddwriter survive the "Boot"?
-Did the teacup really get bought? Or was it left alone?
-Does Suzie REALLY exist? Or does she rank up there with the great myths of Nessie and the
Sasquatch?

All these and much more to come soon. Isn't that right Newton? That's right Herc!

I got Worms!

2005-08-24T00:24:00.000-03:00

So I've become an amateur programmer as of late because of so many things going wrong with my computer. Kind of like Macgyver but instead of duct tape to make a parachute, I use my laptop and some friendly work guys who are MUCH MUCH better than I at things like this.

You see, my forte is the arts. I like to write, I like to act, I like anything creative. But when someone f-ups my tool for creativity (i.e. My computer) the gloves are off bi-atch!

(Beware Geek Talk ahead)So the first problem arose about a week ago when I was locked out of my laptop by a MS security protocol asking for the product key for Windows. Normally, no problem but only this time the store that we bought it from didn't give us the code (found on the box) because they already set it up. And this was 5 years ago before this option was a gleam in Bill Gates apple eye. So, I figured that it would have to be in the laptop somewhere since it had to match against to something and I wasn't connected to the net. God Bless DOS. I googled how to find it and it was easy as pie. But that only worked for Windows 95/98/ME.

If you have a turn of the century computer, you'd be crapping virtual shit-burgers. So my newer computers I used a nifty program called Magical Jelly Bean. Presto! I got both.

So that was fixed. Then last night...I got a Worm. No not Dennis Rodman. Though that would tremendously improve my rebounding.

Called basically "Chode-F". I got infected while whoring around with MSN Messenger as that is where it passes through. So to those of you who have been online with me over the past week or so when I contracted this venereal virtual disease would want to sit up and take notes, this will cure your computer!!! Praise the Lord!!!

This worm: -puts a "backdoor" in your computer to get passwords, personal information, and your dirty underwear.
-blocks your computer from updating your friendly anti-virus program
-it infects every other computer your MSN (or other chat program) that is online with you while using it.
-Rewrites your online "HOSTS" program so you can never access any known security websites that will wipe the bastard out.
-Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

How do you know you got this worm: Do a file search on your computer checking EVERYTHING including hidden files for "svshosts". If it's there, you gotz it.

What to do: Whew! OK. Got a pen...I warned you...alright.

1. Bring up DOS prompt.
2. Find your HOSTS file. (Usually located in C:/WINDOWS/system32/drivers/etc)
3. Type in EDIT HOSTS. This will bring up everything in the Hosts Program.
4. Delete any entry found below LOCALHOSTS (there's an IP address next to it). Everything else below this one isn't necessary.
5. Hit ALT-F and SAVE.
6. Hit ALT-F again and EXIT.
7. Type EXIT in DOS prompt.
8. You're bitchin' machine will now access those pesky security websites this virus hates. Fo'shizzle.
9. Update your anti-virus software and inoculate. Then you straight, bay-bie!

That SOB is gone, gi-diddly, gone. Reboot and you're done.

Now go young uns, check to see if you got worms. Dr. Maddwriter has your prescription for what ails ya. Unless it's a completely different virus. Then I can't help you. You might want to talk to a techie guy. I just play one on the net.

Until next time, Musing to the Chapel...

Just call me "Madd"

2005-08-19T00:20:00.000-03:00

So P. Diddy has re-christened himself Diddy because he didn't want a little P to come between him and his fans. (Ok, Ok, I stole that joke from the Daily Show the other night but you gotta appreciate it's simplicity).
This reminds be of the days when Prince went through his phase of changing his name until he eventually went full circle (Or full Symbol) back to calling himself Prince again. Why? Because Prince finally realized that it's the different name that was getting between him and his Principles (my name of Prince fans pronounced "Prince-Eye-ples"). It's because he wasn't doing anything quality anymore.

Same deal with Diddy Combs. He hasn't been the same since the mid/late 90s before he started messing with his name. When he truly was Puff Daddy and not named after one of the Dwarves cut from Snow White. When he finally comes around and returns to the baby that brought him to the "Game", he'll realize that if he focused more on music instead of promotion he'll figure out that his music will become his promotion. Then again, if he doesn't come around, we may actually see the day when he just calls himself "Did". And, all in all, that would become the most apt name for him of all.

On to something near and dear to my heart: Time. Why is the US Government messing with time? As in Daylight Savings Time. They proposed and passed a law to extend Daylight Savings Time by two months (one month on each side just like two ass cheeks with the Real Savings Time for the rest of the World goes down the hole). They said it'll save energy. Who were the brain monkeys that developed this plan? Oh yeah...nevermind.

Anyway, their basis of doing this is that the extra hour during those two months will save energy because if we don't the terrorist win. Or so I've been brainwashed to believe by the US Government.

It's stupid. Yes, I know. And for their plan to work to save energy, they have to have all their neighbours (i.e. us) to follow suit. Glad they consulted everyone. It's like your roommate who all of a sudden decided to wear no clothes around the apartment. He's bigger than you and pays most of the rent and says if you don't get rid of your clothes you'll get kicked out. So either you take off your clothes to live in the cushy penthouse, or keep your clothes and never be able to make rent because naked guy doesn't want to play ball if you don't play ball.
...it seemed clearer in my head...but you get my drift...

So until next time the Madd muses on...in REAL time.

Bloggy go BOOM!!!!

2005-08-05T02:39:00.000-03:00

So Bloggy did manage to dumb down all that funky writing stuff about Harry Potter. But I'm a MADDwriter, dammit! I'm supposed to overwrite and say crazy stuff and promote books and things. I case you don't get a chance to read the comment here it is in all it's Blogginess:

now at the risk of being called a "muggle" , and a risk that is, jesus christ, am i the only one who sees this whole Harry Potter thing as crap? its a book people! I mean come on! its a book! $#$@!! a book! and a kids book at that , that is way too freakin long! I mean who wants to read 800 pages ??? hey vern, if i was reading something that long it better be the freakin Bible or the Qua'ran (sic). until it gets reviewed in MAXIM, count my interest as nil.

ahhh there.... dumbed down the Maddwriter blog, if only to further show my stupidity. but i dont care. its a %$@#%$@#!$!@ book!

-love, bloggy bloggenheimer

So I like Maxim as much as the next bloke (going all Englishy because I'm MADD!!! Tee-hee). And, true, Maxim has NEVER reviewed a JK Rowling book. And short of Hermione posing for the cover with the caption "Knows how to handle a good wand", I don't think it will ever happen. But I did manage to find a little something (thanks to those friendly people at Google) where Harry Potter takes on the Colonel from MASH in Maxim.

The Bible and Qua'ran? No comment except for this.

Now something we can all relate too: Take it away, Stewie!

Maddwriter Has Left The Building...damn I lost my car keys...

The Half-Blood Muse

2005-08-04T02:14:00.000-03:00

Well...so, I finished the book about a week ago. What book? This book. If any of you out there are Harry Potter fans...and I know that there may be out there...then you already know what I'm going to talk about and it doesn't really matter. The rest of you who haven't read the new book yet. Chances are 5:1 in Vegas that you're not going to or if you do, you won't really understand the full impact of this.
So...

...Snape killed Dumbledore. I'm sorry, I'm sorry...hey, if you're freaking out about me telling you about who killed who (shadows of who killed Mr. Burns), then you really should put away your Pheonix feather wand and faux Maurader's Map and realize...'tis only a book. Granted, a very well written, excellent book or series of books which will, in my humbling opinion, go down as one of the greatest of all time. (Up there with, uh oh, Lord of the Rings, and Dark Tower series).

Anyway, there are countless theories out there recounting how Dumbledore is not dead and Snape being innocent. So I won't bore myself by posting them here. Just click the different coloured words and all shall be revealed.

All in all, in a nutshell, to tie it all up in a nice little bow, and any other cliche that could suffice, it is an excellent book. Do yourself a favour and read it. Then you will finally get all those little quips I made in the beginning. And maybe...just maybe...you'll wish you could do a Forbidden Curse on me because I told you the ending. Then again, maybe I made it all made up...

Until then, the Maddwriter Magically Muses On!

All The World's A Stage...

2005-07-27T12:03:00.000-03:00

There are few people in my life that I could credit with the moulding of my life. The man above possibly was the one who affected me the most. Sir Patrick Christopher-Carter (yes, you are a Sir...I don't need no bloody Queen to bestow that upon thee), professor of Dalhousie Theatre, creator of Shakespeare by the Sea, lifeblood of all that is theatre in Halifax, was the greatest of them all. He died on Monday, July 18 2005 from a stroke.

This will not be a eulogy of dictated by sadness or lost opportunities to let him know what he really meant to me. No, Mr. Christopher. I will not do that. Nor would you allow that. And I won't do that.

Yet, I don't know what else to do.

I know that I didn't grasp Shakespeare. I couldn't speak in iambic pentametre if I had you bopping me on the head on every stressed syllable. Shakespeare was your heart and your soul and now you'll be able to discuss his best works with him... aarrgh, it is so hard not to get sullen.

I know you beleived in every one of your students. That fact that you remembered me 7 years after I last seen or talked to you was a testament to that. I should've told you that day how proud I was on what I accomplished while on the road you turned me onto. Second City in Toronto, CBC TV (mostly extra work), and my writing which is just starting to take off. All of this was from the nurturing of your confidence. If I didn't get that audition my second year in Dal, I would've become a computer program. Probably infinitely richer but empty. And I'd be unhappy...damn, there I go again.

My most cherished memory (aw screw it Patrick, I'm gonna write what I wanna write. Whachyagonnado? Come back from the dead...please...) was on the night of the final party for our class in '98. You came up to me, grabbed me on each side of my head, kissed me on the nose (much to my startled surprise but that was your charm. The drama...the comedy), and said, "You're the quirkiest person I know. Don't change."

I haven't changed but I've tempered it. Quirks are good. Controlled quirks are better.

You shall forever be remembered in my writings Patrick. Immortalized within these words in a subtlety only known to me...and those who've known you.

For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come.
- William Shakespeare Hamlet

Musings in Disguise

2005-07-24T11:48:00.000-03:00

I don't know why I'm so excited about this but it seems El Speilbergo will be producing thenew Transformers movie. So here's my two cents on who should play a few of the roles:

Optimus - Keifer Sutherland. I'd enjoy the sheer possibility that at any moment, under that cool and collected exterior, Optimus could tear off Bumblebees arm and use it as a weapon against the enemy. Plus he's got the coolest voice this side of Samuel L. Jackson...speaking of...

Megatron - Samuel L. Jackson. This would be like the vocal equivalent to Boston vs. Yankees. And I'd think I'd be much cooler if Megatron quoted Bible verse before he pulled out a can of whoop-ass on the Autobots.

Bumblebee - Jason Alexander. Just neurotic enough. And he's shaped accordingly.

StarScream - Tom Cruise. The dude's gone nuts! He might as well channel that energy until he falls apart all together. He wouldn't do the original voice justice but when has an animated movie turned live action EVER done that.

Also, in a new character, I'd like to hear Stephen Hawkin do something. Heck, he's had an exoskeleton for years now. He's probably already saving the world!

But rest assured I'm going to be following along with ...this movie on IMDB. Oh yes I am

The Maddwriter's Mugglings

2005-07-18T01:01:00.000-03:00

Hello all (or none depending on the number of those involved in reading my cyber play toy),
I came across (quite accidentally) this web site that posts your computers ISP, program your using, server you're on, eye colour, and favourite character from 90210. Ok maybe not the last two but it's still pretty cool. Took a lot of trail and error. But the result is at the top of this page. Just refresh to see the wondernemity (?) of randomness.

Muse on, my friends, muse on.

And in case that the 90210 didn't hold you over for your 90's fix. Here's another
link to quench your thirst. One word: CHEESE!!!!

Kicked tha Bucket

2005-07-11T00:50:00.000-03:00

It worked gosh-be-darn! It worked! Now, if only there was a way to add pictures to that little side bar I gotz going on. I'd be all set.
Oh yeah, I submitted a story to Apex earlier today. It was "Famous Crate Jackson". Will see if this story becomes #2 in stories published. It says 30 days for a reply. Stay tuned all you fellow musers. Stay tuned.

Tryin' out tha Bucket

2005-07-11T00:32:00.000-03:00

Hope this works as my first attempt at adding a picture to my musings.

The Monthlies

2005-07-09T01:00:00.000-03:00

The Maddwriter has been slightly more Madd lately in the volunteering bracket of life. Such a bracket looks like this () but a little more lifelike. Think: all of the reporters on Daily Show around Jon Stewart. If you thought of that, cool. You are now one of my minions. Bwah-ha-ha!

I would like to take a small moment writing about that terrible disaster as of late that I'm sure is on a lot of our minds. I'm talking about CNN. I know this is what the old timers call "old hat" but, how many times do they have to replay the same thing over again before it makes someone chronically depressed? They theorize, extrapolate, postulate, emulate, and copulate the hell out of anything they show. No wonder the media says that terrorism is on everyone's minds, THEY'RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT IT!!!!!! (Is that in essence a form of terrorism by keeping it in the mind's eye?) ....and breathe....

So I've decided to volunteer for the Word on the Street for fun. Something to get me out of the house and rub elbows with other reclusive hermit-ey writers. Also, I've got a long term goal to be a part of the International Writers Festival sometime before I die. So, crossing my fingers that Ted Turner doesn't snipe me, I'll have a lot of time.
On top of that, I'm considering writing another online column soon...pro bono. Unless someone pays...heck I'll even write about Pauly Shore for money. (Not to take away from this crazy thing...but it ain't givin' me the exposure...and just like a camera, I likes da exposure.)

Did I see any new movies you ask? Yeah. But it was only a Spielberg movie remaking a 1980's series remaking a 1970's movie remaking a 1930 radio show remaking a 1890's book. It was what it was: SUMMER BLOW UP STUFF MOVIE. It's basically Independance Day with Cruise in Will Smith's shoes and (spoiler alert...but not really since the story's been around for 120 freakin' years!!!) instead of a computer virus taking down the big alien ships, it's a real virus. How come everytime when aliens want to take over the world, and after they study and research our society, they are too stupid to notice something that could destroy them? Like the simple bacteria in WOTW. Like Windows 95 in ID4. Like water in Signs...WATER!!!! 75% of our planet is water. Man, imagine if the alien from "Aliens" had the technology of, oh, lets say the Borg, and they attacked tomorrow. We'd be assimulated quicker than you can say "G'N'R Reunion"...cuz' you know the end of the world is soon if that happens.

Anyway, time to get to bed. All you Muses out in Musia, sleep tight and have sweet dreams of a better time when Axl Rose wasn't so crazy. Maddwriter OUT!

Siskelmania 2005

2005-06-18T18:23:00.000-03:00

It has recently come to my attention that I do a lot of movie reviews on this blog. That "siskel called" and "he wants his job back". Well, i did a search on the web and Gene Siskel is doing very well as a zombie. And I wish Mr. Siskel would've called me instead of this cryptically named "Anonymous" to voice his opinion. So I did a search on "Anonymous" and came across this site . I didn't think a quartet of women choir singers would've left the comment. Their album 11000 Virgins does seem intriguing.
Then I did a little more search and found this. I'm pretty sure I caught the bastard.

In any case, I've got some other stuff to do. So I gotcha now "Anonymous" and your little anonymous dog too. (Witch cackle).

Speaking of which, if you haven't checked out that video under my links called."Do You Beleive?"
really should. It's the best vid of that kind I've ever come across that was taped less than 2 weeks ago.

The Maddwriter must go eat otherwise my musing powers will deplete. Until next time, Musing OUT!

Ramblor: The Lord of the Ramb

2005-06-16T23:52:00.000-03:00

Ok, lots to talk about. Lot of time past. So lets get right to it.

Cinder-feller

Ignore those foolish foolish critics who say this movie (Cinderella Man) lacks emotion and the boxing scenes are confusing. This is one of the best movies I've seen in the last 4 years, excluding the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. (I use the 90s Michael Jordan rule when placing this movie...as in if you asked any kid in the 90s who they're favourite basketball player was, they'd all say MJ. So the MJ rule is who's your fav player besides MJ? Same thing with Lord of the Rings. I'll argue with anyone who claims they've seen a better set of movies since the new millenium.) Bottom line. Spend the $7.50, $7.95, $8.95, $10, $15, $17 or $20 depending on times and location of the movie and go see it. You wont be disappointed unless you have no heart...and I know there's a few of you out there. Yeah, I'm talking to you...only kidding. I don't know you. Or if I do, I don't really know. I'm just guessing. Anyway, go see the flick.

The Longest Yard
Here's how out of the loop I am coming to sports movies...I had no clue this was a remake going in. I didn't get how people made one of those chuckles that you'd hear during an "in" joke when Burt Reynolds appeared on the screen as the coach. How was I supposed to know he was in the original playing the Adam Sandler role? Overall, I really liked this movie that I had no idea was a remake. Upon reading overly harsh reviews comparing it to the original, I didn't get how they couldn't see that it was a good movie. Probably the best Sandler movie since Happy Gilmore and Rock's best movie since CB4 (which begs the question why?). I wish reviewers would take the movie on it's own merit instead of comparing it to the original. We all know remakes usually don't compare to the originals but it doesn't mean they blow.
It's kinda like how I prefer the U2 version of Helter Skelter on the Joshua Tree the original Beatles version. It's all a matter of taste. But they both taste good...just different. That's what this version of Longest Yard would be like to the orignal, I assume. I intend on seeing the original someday.

As a side note, I am appalled and horrified by the overuse of the word "original". That in itself is not original. Maybe I'm subconsciously making a remake of the word "original" over and over again to make a point. Most likely, it's because...(insert your own reason here)

So since my last entry a few weeks ago, I wrote another 2 short stories. One called "The Famous Crate Jackson", and "Deja Vu". I'm happy with my progress. I just lack drive to market these stories to some mag who'd print them. I like the fun parts but not the work. Had the same problem in school. Some people call it procrastination. I don't know what that word means, so I call it lazy.

On a final note, DO NOT WATCH "ANCHORMAN" for the love of all that is dear and wonderful upon this world full of kitty-kats and banana splits and Fabio. This Will Ferrell abomination is the worst movie I've seen since "Very Bad Things" from circa 1998. Here's how bad it is: I didn't even have to pay to watch it since I borrowed it from the library and I considered it a waste of money. It sucked my will to live. How this guy became more successful than Joe Piscopo (check your mid 80s SNL trivia), I'll never know. I do dig his Harry Carry, the cow bell guy, Alex Trebek, and James Lipton. But, in movies, he's the same guy. That adult that tries to be funny but tries too hard then pretends he's a kid...hey, why are you looking at me? OK, ok, at least he's swung it (re:fooled everyone) into a lucrative career...but c'mon.

...that's all I gots....

Off to muse on. Lattah Skattah!

Comedy of the Sith

2005-05-23T02:10:00.000-03:00

So, another chapter of Star Wars has ended creating the necessary albeit shakey bridge between the old trilogy and the new trilogy. If all 6 movies are watched end to end, it still wont get that time of your life back after watching 6 movies end to end. Granted, I'm a bit of a Star Wars fan. More so of the original than the newer ones. For some reason, the new ones seemed to have this forced magic riding on the popularity of the elder. I can't quite put my lightsaber on it (not meant to sound dirty). Don't get me wrong, the new movies were still entertaining for what those are worth. But they didn't feel like an event like the Luke trilogy (Lord of the Rings felt special every time it came on screen).
The worst/unintentionally funny part had to be the horrible robotic acting of Darth Vader when he takes his first steps from Hannibal Lecter's rented trolley. Then the hilarious "NOOOOOOOOO!!!" when he learns that Amidala had died giving birth. I was expecting him to fall on his knees and cry "Why God Why?" Then I couldn't help but laugh when they showed the construction of the original Death Star. As cheesy (or as I shall now call Lucasy) dialogue as there was in the movie, I has honestly expecting Darth to do the quotation mark sign a la Dr. Evil.

On my summer movie ranking (oh yes this'll be a regular feature) that covers all movies I see released between the beginning of May until Labour Day, Star Wars:Revenge of the Sith is ranked 3.5 Snoop Doggs izzles out of 5.

Hiram of Words

2005-05-18T01:20:00.000-03:00

It took an event of unparalleled courage for something to jump start my novel again. It reminded me of that Baz Larhman song about sunscreen where he sings (or talks prosically to music) about life. "Do at least one thing that scares you everyday." Well, today, I scared myself. I did something that I never did before. I entered my work's Queens Pageant. (In case you don't know, as I never disclosed it, but I'm a dude...excuse me while I let one go....aaaahhhhh, nothing feels so nice as whistlin' dixie down south...heh heh...where was I?). The pageant could be entered by either guys or gals. So, of courses, guys entered it to be funny. Let's rewind a tad...

...a couple weeks ago, I was feeling particularily under the weather. Around the time I started this blog, coincidence? I'm going to e-mail the Smoking Gun website after I'm done here. In the meantime, I got volunteered (is that a sign of some kind?) into being a part of this public display of humility. So, being a good sport, I did it...so I'll fastforward again...

...(the dots mean passage of time in writer's terms) it turned out to be great fun. I make an ugly queen though. With my purple Marge Simpson wig and purple bed sheet wrapped around me, I did my best Dame Edna voice and won the crowd. Did I win? Who knows? Who cares? I do half the things in my life just to entertain myself. And short of heavy drugs and some crime that could ultimately throw my hairy pink ass in jail, I want to try everything once. Also, they'll announce the winner tomorrow.

...and this event that was a step or two outside my comfort zone has inspired me to jump back on my novel again. Risk is only as bad as you let it be.

Musing away in drag...till next time.

The Fantastical Art of Rejection

2005-05-13T01:16:00.000-03:00

About six months ago or so (time is as irrelevant as ketchup on a poutine...entirely not necessary and most times in the way), I got a rejection for this short story I wrote called The Fifth Gift. The tale itself was good but a plot outline isn't what I am going to go over here. In any case, the rejection letter was the standard photocopied fare with little check marks on what didn't work. Such rejections are fine. I don't mind. They are useful tools in knowing that at least someone read something of mine and honestly, if not half-heartedly, rejected it for their humble magazine. At least it was readable. BUT....
....there was an actual written comment at the bottom saying the only part they didn't like about it was that one of the plot hinges involving a coincidence where one main character kills another main character in an unlikely fashion only to be uncovered at the end of the story. Now, this coincidence was absolutely unlikely but not so much so considering that we're talking about a science fiction story here. I'm not here to vent, even though it sounds like so. The reason I'm bringing it up now is that I got a second rejection on the same story.
....again, the usual fare. But this one had another comment at the bottom that said "Thanks for the Interesting Read -- Good Luck!" So this tells me the story has merit. They did take 8 months to reply to me. The longer you wait for a rejection the closer it was to being published. To be honest, I had totally forgot about this mag.
I had a point on this diatribe but it has escaped me.
Oh yeah, rejections come, rejections go, but the story will always remain. It took a few rejections to get Sunny's Ball (see links) to get published. It'll take a few more before I get another one done. The bonus of it all is that I'm more persistent than your average Kenny after Rudy Huxtable.
Anyway, it's 2am on the east coast. So it's all the musings for now. Hope you enjoyed my quasi-rant and the 80's reference. Here's one last one: Gratuitous 80's Link

Quick Muse

2005-05-12T02:20:00.000-03:00

I've decided to do a random link to my list of links. I won't tell you what it is but I'll randomly change it from time to time. Consider it my little gift to ya'll. If it weren't so late, I'd muse more. But I shall go anon.

A spot of tea and crumpets

2005-05-09T21:21:00.000-03:00

So I'm working on my last short story called "The Famous Crate Jackson" doing a little research on the now defunct OK Cola (remember that?) and I came across a cool web site. Ever care to find out what your British Name would be?

My very British name is Damian Heath.
Take The Very British Name Generator today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

That web site should pay me to have it included on my blog....hmmmmm... any way back to writing.

Cohen's Chicago

2005-05-07T17:39:00.000-03:00

So...tonight I get to see Chicago, which is the touring show in Toronto written by a guy from New York, in Halifax. Such an international show that I hope doesn't reek of Hollywoodisms that the movie brought about (that I enjoyed thoroughly). I hope it's the original Chicago not the decked out twinking blinding lights of closing time...closing time...closing time....(sorry I went all Leonard Cohen for a moment. It happens. As things do.)
We got some good seats as well. Front row...extreme right. So we'll see about 50% of the show excluding royalties that will be shipped to Bob Fosse, God rest his soul...actually, is he dead? I don't know. But the tickets were the right price. We'll be sitting right beside someone who would've paid 10 times we did. And I'm not even going to be dressed up.
Speaking of dressed up, I was voted at my work to take part in a pageant where I have to leave my masculinity at the powder room door and dress up as a "lady". Don't know if that was because I look pretty in pumps or I look so ugly I'm fuglee...or somewhere in between...lets say in the Peppermint Patty range. But so is the life of a crazy writer.
Which if you have read any of my stuff up to this point, I'm not as whacky (man, whacky sounds lame)....I'm not as kooky for kokoa puffs...um, cruisin' for a bruisin'...no that's something else. Well, you get the idea. But I take my musings and stories quite seriously. This is a window for me to vent...or maybe it should be a vent to be my vent. I'll have to call my contractor.
So, I'm off to supper and then some high stepping Chicago gals. Until next time I'll muse on...

A Minute of Musings

2005-05-03T13:20:00.000-03:00

Anyone else clue in to that it seems odd that the ozone layer is depleting over the poles where there's no significant pollution? Heat and pollution does rise. But why would it drift to the poles? If pollution was the cause of depletion, you'd assume the ozone would be gone over big cities and airports. So here's what I think. Santa Claus, in collaboration with those dastardly south pole Penguins, have created propaganda blaming everyone else in the world when they are the true culprits. I know for a fact Santa feeds his deer and elves beans and weiners. Heh-heh...fart joke.

That's been my minute. Musing on to lunch.

Forgotten tid-bit

2005-05-01T11:10:00.000-03:00

Short note on the movie "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy": pretty good. If you've read the books before, it's basically the first three of the series smushed into one 2 hour movie like a Hollywood-made S'more. If you haven't, you'll probably still like it. Just a word of advice. Don't go in expecting anything to make too much sense. That's the brilliant humour of Douglas Adams. Readers of his work already know this and are laughing at your confused looks!!!! Also, those same non-readers are looking at the readers laughing and shaking their heads thinking "I wonder if they've ever had a girlfriend/boyfriend".

Nuff said...

Hitchhiker's Guide to MaddWriting

2005-05-01T11:04:00.000-03:00

I am a writer. Am I conventional? I'd say so but with my own little quirks. What writer doesn't have their oddities? In everyday life when a writer doesn't have a creative outlet, those quirks seep through. Not that this is all bad. Quirks are what makes the world interesting.
This post will be no different. So as promised, here's a little groundwork about me as influenced by the Hitchhiker's movie I saw last night. So let's see what the guide says about the Maddwriter.

THE GUIDE

MADDWRITER (mahd'rit-er)- Mostly creative. Or as much as he'd like to think so which, in his own mind, is very much so but, in reality, in range of creativeness is only slightly more so than a sea sponge (excluding Sponge Bob). As a footnote, Maddwriter's publishings can be found on the World Wide Web at http://www.sorceryscience.com (a short story that is longer than anticipated by the author) and http://www.aspire2write.com (a journalization of an aspiring writer now ended due to the site discontinuing)

MADDWRITER'S MUSINGS (mahd'rit-ers mew-zings')- Hardly interesting. But from time to time does have important points to note. But these are few and far between and filled with many many tiresome cliches. Read with caution.

Now, I don't necessarily agree (hey there's a spell chekur on this thing!!!!) by the comments made by the Guide and I find I do get distracted by small things rather easily. But I have to accept the truth of both of those things. I guess that's why I'm writing this instead of working on my novel which has been 2 years in the making...more on that another time (and you will be hearing about it a lot).

So, until then the Maddwriter Muses on...

A-Musing Introduction

2005-04-30T00:00:00.000-03:00

I'd like to be honest and say this is my first BLOG. But I know that through the generations of journaling on old fashion paper and my brief excursion into the cybernetic land of online columny (made that one up myself) that this should be child's play.
My intentions for this BLOG (should it be all capitalized like that) is to:
1. Figure out all the wonderful things I can do with this site and learn as I go. So there'll be some experimenting here until I get into some semblance of routine.
2. Keep my mind on the task of writing and a running tally on where I'm at in aspiring writer land.
3. Talk about random stuff whenever I feel like it because, IMO, everything can be used as writing fodder. (3a.AMENDMENT: No more online chat abbreviations like IMO or LOL unless I think their warranted...it's my blog...under the wise direction and rules of BLOGGER.COM, of course.)
4. To write this for my enjoyment. If others get enjoyment out of it, I consider this a bonus. Kind of like finding the cherry in a fruit cup. Fruit cup is still good. But the cherry is better.

I'll share more about myself in my next entry. It's quite late. So until next time...the Maddwriter will muse on.